We Meet Again

" Yes, the next time I visit the community, I will post and express my happiness upon seeing their smiling faces and hearing their joyful talks ! "

That was what I had said and that is what I still stand by. It's not that I haven't visited the kids during this entire time, but it's just that I couldn't get myself to write about it.
I have been to the community twice in the past month, but never really found myself disconnected from the kids there, courtesy the presence of mobile phones and their knowledge of receiving and sending text messages. It was just yesterday, the first day in the past month or so when I did not receive any "Good Morning Di" just as the sun had risen or a "Good Night Di" exactly at the time when I was about to enter my own world of dreams and retire for the day.
That left me with a weird sensation, a sense of incompleteness perhaps, and that is exactly what compelled me to write this post and share my experience of the last two visits.

Shivangi, Prateek and I visited the community the previous week. When I had called them up the day before we went, I could clearly sense their excitement over the phone and it was so contagious that I found myself to be in extremely high spirits till I did not meet the kids the next day.
Owing to their fascination with gel pens, we took one for each kid along with chocolates. When we entered the community, the room in which Prateek and I used to take the class of the senior kids was occupied by children below the age of six years and two girls of the Senior Section were teaching them some words of Hindi. Despite never having talked at a one-to-one level with those young kids, all of them stood up and wished us "Namaste" when we entered the room. There was a huge smile on our faces as we three recollected those mornings when we would travel from our houses in the scorching heat of Delhi and our moods would instantly improve exponentially just upon seeing their smiling faces and hearing their enthusiastic "Namaste" .
We sat in that room for a while, saw those two girls teaching the younger ones as word spread around the community that "Didi Bhaiya aagaye hain " (" Didi Bhaiya have come ").
For the kids who were studying in the ninth grade and upward, school had already begun and they were busy attending their classes. The night before we had been made to promise that we wouldn't, under any circumstances, leave before those children came back from their school.

It was a wonderful feeling to see the kids rush upto you, especially those of the Junior section, hug you and tell you how much they had missed you. I had noticed this before as well, but this time's visit reaffirmed my belief in the fact that being a kid brings along with it the ease with which one can express their emotions. It was just clearly visible how simple it was for the kids of the Junior section to express their emotions as compared to the Senior ones.

We soon left that center and accompanied by around ten children, reached the other center where Mr. Vajpai was sitting. We met and conversed with him. There didn't seem anything formal, it was actually like we're all a part of a big family. Somehow all the kids got assembled there and we sat with them for an hour or so. We talked, laughed, they imitated us, sang songs, heard jokes, discussed studies and most wanted to know when we would be coming back again.
One thing that they all were eager to know was whether we had done our homework or not. Our homework ? Create worksheets for them ! Not having known that with school and regular studies at the community on at full pace, they would still be expecting worksheets from us, we were definitely not prepared for this. We did promise them that the next time we come, there would be worksheets for all of them. During the visit prior to this one, we had prepared and distributed worksheets to the children of the senior section and this time I was not surprised when I found a few of them had it completed, ready for us to check them.

It was time to leave, they were very apprehensive of the fact whether we would be able to come and meet them soon since our college is about to open now, but I was sure we would come soon.
The reason ? While leaving one center to go to the other one, when a young girl perhaps of about five years of age came upto me, tugged my hand, signaled me to bend, kissed my cheek and asked me to come again, I knew there definitely are more visits in store for us.

It will go on

Its been two days since I have been trying to write this entry. Never before have I taken this much time to write especially when doing this has been the first thing on my mind.
It just doesn't seem to make sense to write the last post so soon, it just doesn't seem like one month! It seems like yesterday when we got a mail from AID and we were busy collecting the documents we needed to send them from our institute. I can clearly recall those few weeks spent in anticipation of their reply and the excitement upon getting the opportunity to work with Parichay. I wouldn't say I was excited right form the beginning only, keeping in mind the fact that our institute requires us to do community work, this started off more as a duty, as something that needs to be done.
We got in touch with Mr. Bajpai, a date was decided and we went to meet him. We saw the community and the first thing that bothered me then was the amount of travel that was involved. Mr. Bajpai wanted us to reconsider our decision of interning with Parichay since he knew it was a difficult task to reach the community every morning that too in the scorching heat, but there was something that pushed us and prevented us from backing out. The result ? We started working from the next day.
I think it was the first day with the kids that made me realize that there was no other place I'll rather be despite the terrible summer heat of Delhi. It was the welcoming nature of the kids, their curiosity and their willingness to learn that affirmed our belief in the fact that we had taken the right decision.
The month that followed was filled with excitement, anxiety, happiness, disappointment, exhaustion, we went through all sorts of emotions ! The happiness upon seeing the kids every morning, the satisfaction upon knowing that what we were teaching was of being use to them, the disappointment at the not so good results, the anxiety when they were taking a test prepared by us, the awe felt at their innocence, the sadness as the last day was drawing near, the excitement on Sunday evenings to meet the kids the next day, the despair at knowing that there was so little that we could do for them , the feeling of warmth felt the entire time knowing that there are a bunch of people somewhere in this planet who respect, regard and love us so much, so many emotions, so many feelings, all in just one month ! All of this came out in the open on the last day.
As I have been saying since such a long time, the kids had prepared a function for us. The function consisted of around six dance performances, some poems and two short skits. The zest and happiness with which they danced truly showed how much they had been practicing and working for this moment. An interesting thing that I noticed was the fact that despite being grown up and being mentally matured, we people find it so hard to display our emotions, to show our feelings, to tell the other person what we truly feel on their face. The kids whom me and Prateek had been teaching were all extremely sad because we were leaving, but none of them could really express it in their words, on the other hand, the kids of the junior section were all hugging and shouting and asking Shivangi to not to leave, and expressing how much they wanted her not to go. It was so easy for them to hug us and to tell us that they would miss us but we were finding it so hard to say just the same when I know the intensity of what we were feeling was so much more!

Yes, there was some crying as well, the kids did cry, and it took us all of our combined efforts to make them believe that we won't ever forget them and that we would keep visiting always. The kids gave us a letter that they had written and a small token of their love.

We had got photographs developed and gave each one of them a sheet with the photograph along with something written. It was great to see the kids smile upon receiving those ! We had even made a movie (Courtesy Prateek) which we showed to them at the end of the function, the kids were absolutely delighted to see themselves on the laptop :)

We sat with them for some time, talked about things, about the past month, they told us of the things that they loved the most about us and we in turn encouraged them to always keep studying. They took our phone numbers and the phone hasn't stopped ringing since then !
We must have got up around five times to leave but then each time ended up sitting back again ! We laughed with them, danced with them, ate with them , sang with them and to an extent even cried with them.
The best part of the day ? We were standing, the three of us, and each kid came and made us eat a small bite of the Gulab Jamun ( a famous Indian Sweet)  that they had arranged for us. Yes, we all had around twenty bites of Gulab Jamun that day and we made them eat as well ! It was all too sweet. Everything.
Finally, we went to Mr. Bajpai and he handed us a small Ganeshji each, it was a different feeling that we all felt at that moment. We knew that a tie, a bond had been created with this small community which we will ensure to keep safe.We knew the more we lingered around there, the more difficult it would be for us as well as the kids to bid each other farewell. We decided to get going, and when all the kids came till the end of the passage, till the door of the community to see us off, I knew there would be no NOT meeting these kids again!
Upon our way back to the metro station, when Prateek said "Hum sach main ab yahan nahi aayenge ? "("We really won't be coming back here ? "), my belief in the upper mentioned thought was reinforced.
I don't know why I am sounding this melancholic when I know we will meet them again ! We will go and teach them again ! We will give them a surprise test and be happy when we realise that they remember what all we had taught !
Yes, the next time I visit the community, I will post and express my happiness upon seeing their smiling faces and hearing their joyful talks !
Till then, Zindagi Migzara !

Moments

                                   

Emotions

When I sit to write, there are numerous conflicting emotions that I feel at the present moment. Hundreds of different varied thoughts which I would like to pen down all at once. I wish to just preserve all these feelings, this uneasiness, excitement,sadness, all of it, because I don't think I will feel such varying emotions all together ever again !
Lets go sequentially, the first being the past three days. The days were spent in doing Science and questions based on whatever has been taught before in Maths. Everyday there was a test on what had been taught the previous day including ten questions regarding decimals. I wouldn't say that the results were always promising, but they seemed satisfactory enough! However, day before when the kids could not answer simple basic questions on the Water Cycle which had been taught just a day back, my disappointment was beyond measure. After having done the same thing around five times, if one does not get results, one does begin to question themselves and that is exactly what I did.
It didn't take me much to realise that it was not that the kids hadn't understood anything, the problem was, they weren't able to express themselves in English. I thought till the time the kids were understanding the basic concept of what was being taught, language should not be any bar to judge them. We worked upon the English of this Science with the kids and soon enough got the desired results!
Basically the topics taught in these few days were Water Cycle, properties of water, Solar System and Air.
Today the class started off with a test (yes, again) on Solar System. I also realised another thing today, kids tend to understand and give a better performance in tests that test specific aspects of their knowledge rather than a test having a loose open ended question. For instance, a paper having objective type questions like "Which is the nearest planet to Earth ? , Which is the nearest star to Earth ? " will tend to provide a larger scope for kids to score rather than one having a ten mark question "Write about the Solar System" . Once again comes the difficult task of the teachers and the effort that they spend in making each and everything appear extra simple to us will never go unnoticed by me.
Today's class was the last class. The last teaching class. The last class ever actually. We might come to visit these kids again sometime, but things won't be the same as they were today. They never could be. It was a day of mixed emotions. I wanted to dance with the kids but teach them everything as well ! I wanted to sit and laugh with them but make them revise whatever we had done as well! I wanted to just talk with them but make them do questions of higher order as well! So much to do. In so little a time.
What we ended up doing ? We taught Air, completed a few trailing points of the Solar System, revised decimals with the help of the questions given in the beginning of the class(test) and even laughed a lot.
At that moment I just felt regret for all those moments not lived fully with these kids, for those videos not captured, those photographs not taken, those laughs left in mid-air and those conversations which we never got the time to have.
The kids haven't even taught me Urdu yet! How is it possible for one month to be over this soon ? There was a different level of excitement that could be seen in the kids today. Their function was taking place tomorrow ! I had mentioned once, the kids are planning a surprise function for us, all on their own. Yes, the time for that function, the time for them to bid us farewell has come. The function is tomorrow and we have been told of its duration to be around three hours tentatively. What these kids have in store for us tomorrow, no one except them knows. Its all a "big surprise". What we know is that there is a "surprise" for us tomorrow, what they don't know is that we have the same for them! One wouldn't possibly think that we'll leave the kids without giving them something special?
These kids have changed our lives, and I am sure I am absolutely correct in speaking on behalf of my co-interns. They seemed to have given a new perspective to things, a new outlook towards life and a new way to enjoy things better :) I am just anticipating about tomorrow! Just hoping it won't be too difficult to leave that place with the acceptance of the fact that we won't be coming there on a regular basis anymore.
How something started off with a completely different motive, a different intention, becomes such a big part of your life that it becomes hard to say good-bye to it, is one thing that I explored in this past month. There were too many emotions bottled up inside me and now hopefully facing tomorrow would not be as difficult as it seemed earlier.
It's going to be another day! Another day filled with the kids shining faces, bright smiles, echoing laughter and joyful talks! It might be the last, but it would definitely be worth it :)

Decisions

The last week at Parichay started. The last five days. Where and how the past month went by, will remain a mystery to me. It is actually true that time seems to fly while having fun.
Nor only did we have fun with the kids in the process of getting to know them, understand them and become their friends, but we even learnt a lot on the sociological and psychological front (the learning still continues though).
I would rather not get into my serious-mode as of now, since there are still four days left, four days of studies yet fun, assignments yet games, discipline yet laughter, seriousness yet jokes, four more days of pure innocence :)
Today the day was all about Science. Yes, we had started off with the basic States Of Matter on Friday and we intended upon completing certain facts about Water, including Water Cycle and it's properties by today. We succeeded in accomplishing our target and the response of the students while we were teaching seemed satisfactory enough.
Not wanting them to forget the Maths that we had taught, the day started off with a five question test( yes,again), after the morning prayer of course. Almost everyone got at least four out of the five given questions correct. The questions might have been simple, however they required the correct knowledge of basics as well. After that we went on to test what we had taught on Friday and it is only when we were satisfied with the answers provided by everyone that we proceeded with the class. The day went on smoothly as we were doing a subject which the kids liked.
The highlight of the day ? A small photo-session which took place in the break. Never ever have I seen a bunch of kids so excited to get their photographs clicked ! It was almost like this was the moment that they had been waiting for since quite a long time ! Though I am sure that was not the case, however, their level of excitement could not be defined in a better manner than this ! Those ten fifteen minutes were probably one of the few moments that will be etched in my heart forever and I think we even were successful in capturing their happiness on camera.  It was also an interesting time spent in hearing what all the kids love about us, how they talk about us, and what all they would miss of us when we leave. It was a proud moment then to see these kids view us with such high regard.
Due to certain reasons, I had decided long back to not to visit the community tomorrow. However, when I informed the kids of my possible absence tomorrow, I knew it instantly that I won't be able to not come! What happened in those few moments, their reactions and how they affected me, is something that I won't be able to describe ever. The only thing that I did learn was, that regardless of what we decide, rather what we think we have decided firmly, it takes just a few moments to change decisions :)

Expectations

Time at the community seems to be flying now. With just around five days left in our internship period, we are torn between the desire of having fun with the kids and teaching them new stuff. It's not that we don't want them to learn new things but the thought of this internship ending is actually beginning to give me jitters now.
It is now that I truly understand the concerns of that sixteen year old girl who kept wanting to be told again and again that we would not forget them after our internship is over. Maybe she has a better grasp over practical life than me or maybe she knows how to see through promises.
Come to think of it, I have been questioning myself a lot in the past two days. Have I made promises to these kids which I won't be able to fulfil ? Will I be able to take some time off my college schedule ? Would after some time, these kids even remember me as "woh didi ne kaha tha woh aayengi, aaj tak toh aayi nahi "("That girl had said she will come, she hasn't till now ") I have had some great moments with these kids and the last thing I want is for them to remember me as the person who couldn't keep her promise. If there is something that has been added to my list of expectations from myself, is the task to meet these kids atleast once a month and not to let them forget the great memories we had over the span of this month.
Yes, one might say that there is still time left for me to get all sentimental over leaving the community, but today in class when the same question of "Aap humse milne aaoge na ?" ("You will come to meet us, right ? ") was raised by a boy of around fourteen years of age, I couldn't help but think of how many expectations even these kids have of us when we leave and how disappointed they would be if we could not even pay them a visit after some time. No, that is something that I would never want, to see these kids get upset because of me, because of something that I promised but couldn't fulfil. However, I think such a situation would never really come up, regardless of how attached the kids have become to us, we know deep inside that we are twice as much attached to them now.
It's almost like that now I can imagine each one's reaction on a particular thing and visualise them smiling over some silly joke which we might have cracked during the class, and not to forget their morning prayer. For some time there wouldn't even be a single day when I would not have their voices in my head, singing the prayer early morning.
Yes, such would be their effect. Yes, my expectations of myself have increased tenfold.
As for the class, we had a worksheet on Maths prepared for the kids, five questions to be done each day in class, the class started off with doing those. Yet again, after having done the same thing since a long time, it was just natural for us to expect them to give all correct answers and when that didn't happen I wouldn't say we weren't upset. There were four kids who got all five correct, and the result of the rest of the class was just satisfactory, though it could have been much better. With bonding and any kind of relation, comes expectations, and it is these expectations which either make or break the relation, the person.
We quickly discussed the questions and went on to Science, discussed the different states of matter and then moved on to Water.
Teaching all of this in English, explaining each line in Hindi so as to ensure that they understood everything was a major task. We quickly found interesting ways to make things clear to them and the class ended after covering just basics of Water.

Yes, it is true that expectations either make or break a person. A person might be able to stand upto someone dear's expectations, thus making both of them ecstatic and optimistic or it might simply work the other way round, by increasing the pressure, thereby reducing the throughput and hence causing disappointment to everyone around. It is one thing to expect something from someone while giving them their space to live upto it and it is another to start commanding their life in the hope of getting your expectations fulfilled.
I hope never ever did we behave like the latter :) .

Other Side

Yes, "Other Side" are just the correct two words to describe my experience of the past day. We did not "teach" anything new, but nor did we let the kids not learn anything either. The day started off with us giving them five questions, which they were supposed to do well so as to play the decided games in the later half of the day.
The result was disappointing. Without saying anything or explaining the questions, we just wrote down the answers, gave them time to discuss amongst themselves and then gave them another set of questions. The performance seemed to have improved, but was still not satisfactory. The same thing was repeated again and five more questions were given. The result ? Almost everyone got more than four correct. What I understood of this little exercise was just this, that it is not that the kids do not know what is being asked, nor is it that we haven't been able to make ourselves clear to them, but it is more of the fact that there is a lack of self study, because of which they need some time to recall whatever it is that has been happening in the class since the past few days.
To come to think of it, we taught decimals to these kids in just a span of two weeks, as easy as it maybe appearing to us, the fact that it is difficult and a not-so-easy-to-grasp concept must be accepted. Despite that if it is just ten questions which they need to refresh their memory and remind them of how to handle the "point", I don't think its too big of a worry for us.

An aspect of Parichay, which I think I just mentioned once before is the conductance of classes for children below the age of nine. My co-intern Shivangi works with them. 

Their class seems to go at a different pace and level altogether. Not only is there a slight lack of seriousness there, but the discipline level is also level. How she is able to manage them, make them learn and have fun simultaneously, I am yet to figure out ! All said and done, these kids are not meant to be taken lightly though, when they happened to see decimals being done in their elder brother/sisters class, the first thing they went and told Shivangi was, "Hume bhi woh sab karwa do..hume unse aage badhna hai ! "("Teach us all that as well, we want to be ahead of them !") Yes, the level of enthusiasm is probably much higher at this side of the community!
The later half of Wednesday was spent in playing the games that had been decided for them. One of them involved creating sentences from jumbled words in a team. Initially the kids had to find their team-members on the basis of the colour of the words which they had and then form the sentence, which was actually a famous quotation. It was a fun exercise and not only did it serve as an activity to check sentence formation but also taught them some never-to-forget famous lines.

It was fun to watch them play and even more to see them getting excited about coming first. They seemed to have developed a liking for "Shruti didi" and were even more determined to win the game! Even she, I think, now seems to have become connected with the kids at a different level altogether.

In all, the day was an eventful one and now I can finally say with pride that we are truly done with Maths ! No, now there would not be any more discussion on the same. Its time for us to now explore their other interests and likings, i.e. Science.